Eren and Romance
by gamewitch1990
Summary: Eren asks the Special Operations Squad about how to get someone to like him


eren rly need ed to talk to the special operatinos squad. he nee d ed their advice on how to be ...romnantic  
he sasked petra and she was lik...  
"Wow! u rly like some1 huh? is it levi ;)" eren said no and she was like Dang who is it. eren said armin. she said OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOHH  
eren walked away after that he was eally done. he went to ask gunther  
"gunther u have a hot bod how do u get people to like u" eren said . gunteher looked at him and sead..."despite my rockin body i can never get anyone to like me before i piss my self. im probably going to die pissing. in fact you always die pissing didyou know that? my grave isnt going to say rest in peace gunther schulz its going to say rest in piss gunther schulz"  
gunther kept talking about piss and crying and eren was like are you into watersports . gunther said yeah. eren walked away and made note to not ask gunther about personal info  
eren really did not want to ask auruo but he wnet over to him anyway. he said helo auro. auro said "sup lil dude" and eren was like im not fucking little you piece of shit. auro made the :/ face. eren was like "ok im not here to insult you or call you lame im here to ask about how to get people to like you"  
auruo gasped and took erens hands"omfg i hav et o teach you all this shit its gonna be rad as heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell" and eren was regretting this really bad. aluo sat him down on a bench and piointed up in the sky "you see all that blue shit? yeah man. thats the sky. isnt that fucking cool" eren was like wtf does this have to do with romance. aureo said "the sky is like. so romantic dude. show ur man or woman the sky and their mind will be fuckin blown because the sky is so . like. big." eren wass like you fucking suck oreo! oreo was reall y angry "dont cALL ME OREO" and he got up and muttered stuff abou t oreos  
eren was like yessss i got him to go away dang. DAng! Yeah. Im so fucking cool. Im the coolest. suck my dick. Suck my dick  
he walk ed around looking for erd and he was like hmm. wher e did he go . he saw him by the horses talking to the horse. eren was like. hey erd is that horse ur girlfriend lol. errd looked at him and then down at the ground. "my girlfriend died in the field and i havent been able to move on" he said  
eren looked at him and felt really bad. he decided romance was not a good topic to pursue with him  
shit thats everyone! he said. well i mean theres still the squad leader.  
no. no . NO. eren was not about to ask levi for romantic advice. no no  
eren stop walking toward levis room no stop just STOP he tol dhimself while walkign  
NO! he was there  
he knocked  
levi answered the door like "what do u want im about to do something important :/" and eren was like "please tell me how to get armin to like me" he say  
levi was like. oh. he put his hand on erens shoulder and said . "eren listen to me. dont listen to anyone else just listen to me. dont even listen to the other members of the squad they know nothing dont even think about their words dont even think about anything else just listen to me. listen. are you listening?"  
eren was like yes im listening sir  
levi spun a tale of romance and tragedy while they were still standing in his doorway.  
"and THEN they went on an expedition in the outside world together and they killed about three titans and the older man patted the younger on the shoulder and it made the younger man so happy." he was saying  
"levi sir who is this story about its so detailed for you to just make it up on the spot"  
levi stared at him really really hard. he began sweating and looking down the hallway. uh. um. oh my go d. this story is about two nameless men eren what else do you want. its not about erwin and i.  
eren was like i didnt ask about erwin and levi was like SHIT! he ran away really fast as fast as his legs could take him  
eren followed him actually curious about why he ran away instead of just going back into his room  
"levi wtf did i tell you about telling romantic stories to the others"  
"i got carried away listening to my own cool voice sir"  
the voices were levi and erwin and eren was like Whoa! is the corporal being disciplined? hmmM he decided to listne for a while  
30 minutes later eren ran really fast away from the door because he did nOT want to hear levi getting fucked hard in the ass by erwin


End file.
